Ten tips for the Rookie Professional Musician from a seasoned pro (AKA 'Grumpy Old S**').
1) Never trust the provision of food. Never arrive at a gig feeling hungry. Better to let your band members think that you are being generous when you say "No, honestly - you have the last beef sandwich..." the fact that you could not ingest another crumb because you are stuffed with Chinese takeaway is irrelevant. Also, when abroad, travel with emergency muesli bars. The ones called 'Nine Bars' are ok and do not taste as much like shoe leather as the other ones tend to.
2) Before traveling abroad, upload scans of passports, driving licence and other photo ID to a secure webserver. Dropbox is fine - or Apple's mobile me iDisk. Also store card numbers (including the 3 digit security code ) so that you can pay for stuff even if you do not have the card with you. Or use a mnemonic to remember all this info. Also include useful phone numbers like the number to call if your card is stolen, travel insurance claim numbers etc. Even RAC breakdown numbers etc. If you are unfortunate enough to lose all your luggage thanks to RyanAir, print this doc out and it will save loads of time and stress. Also put this info on your mobile phone. There are plenty of secure vault 'apps' out there. I use one called 'safenote'.
3) Always add half as much again to your estimated journey time. Make a habit of this. Reliability is a much more desirable quality than monster chops etc. Band-leading is extremely stressful and bandleaders will do whatever it takes to lower the stress of it all - this includes booking reliable sidemen! Arrive early - always.
4) Guitarists/Bass Players: Don't fiddle with your amp settings during the gig. Set your sound then play. Your ear gets used to the sound, the audience's ear gets used to the sound, the sound-man's ears get used to the sound. Amp-fiddlers are a sure sign of an amateur, and you want to appear to be a pro! The same applies to PA sound men - a soundcheck is a sound check. There is nothing worse than a sound-man who constantly 'rides the faders'. Set it - leave it! Any last tweaks should be completed within the first song.
5) If you get offered a better gig, only phone the bandleader to ask to be excused if you have a top quality dep on standby. Find out who the acceptable deps are and keep a list handy. If you stress the bandleader he will drop you as soon as he can. If the bandleader refuses to let you go, you MUST honour the gig.
6) Do not have casual 'relationships' with band-members. It will all end in tears.
7) Accommodation. For far-flung gigs book a cheap travellodge as soon as you can. Sometimes, if you book months ahead, you can get a room for a tenner. Failing that, convert your transit van into a camper. I have saved a fortune this way. I have cooker, microwave and fridge working off leisure batteries. This has saved my life when the gig contract has not included food.
8) Don't trust sat-nav postcodes. Always confirm the exact location by looking on websites or google-earth. Sometimes a postcode on a website can be for a venue's administration office, not the venue itself. Don't get caught out.
9) Use a posh accent at weddings, a Geordie one for pubs and clubs.
10) Play the gig. Unless it is your name in big fat letters on the posters, don't try proving to the world what a genius you are. Understand your job and do it. Know all the styles from Acker Bilk to Anastasia and from Zappa to Zeppelin. No bebop licks in Mustang Sally please! (If I had my way, there would be no Mustang Sally!)
11) Be generous. Look, I'm giving you 11 tips - not just the promised ten! Better to play an extra ten minutes than to stop dead on midnight only for the b*****ds to try suing you for breach of contract a few weeks later. This has happened to a band I was in. The clients were young solicitors and thought they would have some 'fun' with us. The incident nearly bankrupted a successful agency. You have been warned.
1) Never trust the provision of food. Never arrive at a gig feeling hungry. Better to let your band members think that you are being generous when you say "No, honestly - you have the last beef sandwich..." the fact that you could not ingest another crumb because you are stuffed with Chinese takeaway is irrelevant. Also, when abroad, travel with emergency muesli bars. The ones called 'Nine Bars' are ok and do not taste as much like shoe leather as the other ones tend to.
2) Before traveling abroad, upload scans of passports, driving licence and other photo ID to a secure webserver. Dropbox is fine - or Apple's mobile me iDisk. Also store card numbers (including the 3 digit security code ) so that you can pay for stuff even if you do not have the card with you. Or use a mnemonic to remember all this info. Also include useful phone numbers like the number to call if your card is stolen, travel insurance claim numbers etc. Even RAC breakdown numbers etc. If you are unfortunate enough to lose all your luggage thanks to RyanAir, print this doc out and it will save loads of time and stress. Also put this info on your mobile phone. There are plenty of secure vault 'apps' out there. I use one called 'safenote'.
3) Always add half as much again to your estimated journey time. Make a habit of this. Reliability is a much more desirable quality than monster chops etc. Band-leading is extremely stressful and bandleaders will do whatever it takes to lower the stress of it all - this includes booking reliable sidemen! Arrive early - always.
4) Guitarists/Bass Players: Don't fiddle with your amp settings during the gig. Set your sound then play. Your ear gets used to the sound, the audience's ear gets used to the sound, the sound-man's ears get used to the sound. Amp-fiddlers are a sure sign of an amateur, and you want to appear to be a pro! The same applies to PA sound men - a soundcheck is a sound check. There is nothing worse than a sound-man who constantly 'rides the faders'. Set it - leave it! Any last tweaks should be completed within the first song.
5) If you get offered a better gig, only phone the bandleader to ask to be excused if you have a top quality dep on standby. Find out who the acceptable deps are and keep a list handy. If you stress the bandleader he will drop you as soon as he can. If the bandleader refuses to let you go, you MUST honour the gig.
6) Do not have casual 'relationships' with band-members. It will all end in tears.
7) Accommodation. For far-flung gigs book a cheap travellodge as soon as you can. Sometimes, if you book months ahead, you can get a room for a tenner. Failing that, convert your transit van into a camper. I have saved a fortune this way. I have cooker, microwave and fridge working off leisure batteries. This has saved my life when the gig contract has not included food.
8) Don't trust sat-nav postcodes. Always confirm the exact location by looking on websites or google-earth. Sometimes a postcode on a website can be for a venue's administration office, not the venue itself. Don't get caught out.
9) Use a posh accent at weddings, a Geordie one for pubs and clubs.
10) Play the gig. Unless it is your name in big fat letters on the posters, don't try proving to the world what a genius you are. Understand your job and do it. Know all the styles from Acker Bilk to Anastasia and from Zappa to Zeppelin. No bebop licks in Mustang Sally please! (If I had my way, there would be no Mustang Sally!)
11) Be generous. Look, I'm giving you 11 tips - not just the promised ten! Better to play an extra ten minutes than to stop dead on midnight only for the b*****ds to try suing you for breach of contract a few weeks later. This has happened to a band I was in. The clients were young solicitors and thought they would have some 'fun' with us. The incident nearly bankrupted a successful agency. You have been warned.
